I recently sat down to create a handout for parents of young kids to help them build listening skills. The way that you communicate with your child can have a HUGE impact on how they respond. If you are willing to try little changes to your approach when giving directions or helping kids transition to a new activity, you can really improve the interaction.
Tips to foster flexibility
Let your child pick for ALL of the things you don’t care about.
"Here's the crayons, you can color with whatever colors you like best!"
If you care a little, give them a CHOICE and let them choose.
"Would you like carrots or cucumbers with your sandwich?"
If you care a lot, your child doesn’t get to choose, give a direction.
"Jonathon, please put on your seatbelt."
When giving directions
*First get the child’s attention: proximity, tap, or visual cue
“Name, please give direction” - WAIT 5-15 seconds
“Name, you need to restate direction” - WAIT 5-15 seconds
“That’s not listening, I can help” - Help child follow direction
*when child listens reinforce his listening with specific praise
When changing activities (transitions)
*First get the child’s attention: proximity, tap, or visual cue
“Name, we have 2 more minutes until transition.”
“Name, we have 30 more seconds until transition.”
“Name, it’s time to transition, please give direction.”
*proceed with giving directions routine
Do not offer a choice if your child can’t choose no. (Instead of: Do you want to go to bed?” Try “It’s time for bed!” as a transition.)
By giving your child a routine for following directions you set clear expectations. This helps your child understand their world and they can respond in a way that helps them feel capable, respected and loved.
see this .pdf for more information on precision commands:
www.interventioncentral.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/pdfs_blog/behavior_management_precision_request.pdf
Tips to foster flexibility
Let your child pick for ALL of the things you don’t care about.
"Here's the crayons, you can color with whatever colors you like best!"
If you care a little, give them a CHOICE and let them choose.
"Would you like carrots or cucumbers with your sandwich?"
If you care a lot, your child doesn’t get to choose, give a direction.
"Jonathon, please put on your seatbelt."
When giving directions
*First get the child’s attention: proximity, tap, or visual cue
“Name, please give direction” - WAIT 5-15 seconds
“Name, you need to restate direction” - WAIT 5-15 seconds
“That’s not listening, I can help” - Help child follow direction
*when child listens reinforce his listening with specific praise
When changing activities (transitions)
*First get the child’s attention: proximity, tap, or visual cue
“Name, we have 2 more minutes until transition.”
“Name, we have 30 more seconds until transition.”
“Name, it’s time to transition, please give direction.”
*proceed with giving directions routine
Do not offer a choice if your child can’t choose no. (Instead of: Do you want to go to bed?” Try “It’s time for bed!” as a transition.)
By giving your child a routine for following directions you set clear expectations. This helps your child understand their world and they can respond in a way that helps them feel capable, respected and loved.
see this .pdf for more information on precision commands:
www.interventioncentral.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/pdfs_blog/behavior_management_precision_request.pdf
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