Let me get this out there right now:  each child is different so we are all going to use different strategies while parenting our children.

​In the past year I have become pretty concerned about some of the new parenting ideas floating around the internet.  It seems like we are in this "hands off, let kids learn on their own" phase, where it is a problem when a mom teaches her child to share...or say thank you...or heaven forbid a parent actually put their kid in time-out!  

As a mom when I read these articles I just come away scratching my head.  So I can't teach my kids what is right and wrong, but somehow they are still going to turn out ok?  WHAT?

I totally get behind some of the non-adultism movements, like I agree we shouldn't be forcing our kids to dole out kisses or hugs, sure.  I totally get that kids need to be respected, and that they are human beings just like adults.  BUT it has been pretty heavily researched...for almost 100 years (think of Piaget people) and today it still seems applicable:  the mind of a child is not the same as the mind of an adult...it is still growing. 

Kids are still developing!  You can expect an adult to understand what someone else is feeling/thinking and (hopefully) share without being prompted.  BUT our really young kids don't have that skill.  They are still learning that everyone doesn't feel the way they do.  

WE NEED TO TEACH THEM!  I can tell you from my professional experience, how we interact with others involves social skills that need to be taught.  Kids need parents to help them learn to say please, and thank you, and answer the door politely, and not cut in line.  Just sitting back and watching is not enough, in my experience.

Suddenly it's not ok to give your kids positive reinforcement?  I seriously read that we should not be using praise because it will manipulate behavior...WHAT?  Again, look at the research people!  Yes we should be careful about using rewards to control behavior because that does result in being extrinsically motivated (which we all are to some extent so chill).  BUT using rewards to inform, support, and challenge, like praising effort, increases intrinsic motivation! See research by Mueller, C.M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998).  

Sometimes kids do things that are not ok, not to be mean, or rude...because they are still developing and learning.  How do you help them learn?  You praise them for good choices, you model correct behaviors, you consistently help them succeed.  If a child needs a break, you give them one, and in our house...that's called a time out.

I feel like some of the advice out there that is so fluffy that if I tried to follow it all I would go crazy.  Here is the best parenting advice I have read this year:

As a parent, you probably don’t want to play referee within the walls of your own home. Good news—you shouldn’t have to! You’re a coach, and your children are on the same team, even if they don’t realize it yet. As you try to coach your children instead of referee them, they will feel secure in your love and grow to love each other more.

Here are four ways to help your children learn to get along:

• Give your children words and phrases to use. Instead of just saying, “Use your words,” tell your children exactly which words to use. “Say, ‘I would like a turn now’” or “Say, ‘I would like to play with you.’” Little ones don’t have quick access to very many words yet, and it will take a lot of practice before they do.
• Use stories. Children will like hearing about the times you learned to appreciate your brothers’ and sisters’ differences, especially if those brothers and sisters have grown into favorite uncles and aunts.
• Call time outs. Coaches call players off the field to rest and regroup. With rest instead of punishment in mind, you might provide a cozy time-out space for your child, like a comfy chair.
• Point out the good. When children are having fun together, make sure they notice. “I’m so grateful you have each other!” and “That was really nice of your sister to share with you. She must really love you.”
  
  ​For Parents of Little Ones (2017, June). The Friend

Here are some ideas to try to help your child talk.  These are great for those 1 year olds who mostly "point and grunt", because as fun as that stage is...it is really not much fun.

Parent Speech:
Use clear simple speech with your child during play routines. The goal is to talk in phrases you want your child to copy – 1 to 2 words.
Example: Instead of saying “Go down the hall and get your shoes” say “Get your shoes”. When getting undressed use short phrases “Shoes off…shirt off…etc.” Try to use grammatically correct phrases, just shorter ones.

Echo-Expansion Modeling:
Add 1 or 2 words to what your child says when you respond back to him or her.
Example: When your child says “up” say “up… you want up”.

​Don’t Anticipate Your Child’s Needs or Wants:
Mom's and dad's are great at knowing what their kids want or need.  BUT mind-reading doesn't give your child a change to use words and ask.  Don’t anticipate your child’s every need or want before they have a chance to make them known to you.
Example: When you know your child wants a drink – instead of just handing them the drink, point and wait to see if they will request it (pointing, signing, or saying “drink”).

Sabotage the Environment:
Mess up routines so your child has to communicate his or her needs.
Example: During mealtime give everyone a spoon but “forget” to give your child a spoon. Wait and see if your child initiates they need something. If they don’t initiate what they need, help them by saying. “What do you need?” or “Are you missing something” or “Uh-oh!” Label the item before you give it to them.

Play “dumb” when your child points to a desired object.
Example: When your child points to the counter for their drink (or another desired object you know they want), say: “What do you want?” (pause) “A spoon?” (pause) “An apple?” (pause) “A drink?” …. “Oh, Drink!”

Self-Talk:
When your child is within hearing range, talk about what you are doing while you do it.
Example: When washing your hands at the sink say “wash hands”, when the phone is ringing say “I hear the phone”.

Parallel Talk:
When playing with your child, describe what your child is doing while they are doing it.
Example: When your child picks up a car – say “pick up car”. When your child drops a block – say “drop block”.

Describe what he is seeing and hearing.
Example: “That’s a ball”, When listening to music say “Music, listen to music”

My advice: take one or two ideas and try them out.  Remember when working with kids the idea is not to frustrate them more, but to model how they could do something differently.  Waiting for them to talk works wonders...demanding that they talk can really backfire.  Try to keep things light and fun and find ways to repeat, repeat, repeat!

"Good social skills require good communication skills."
- Candy Lawson at the Center For Development and Learning.

Getting ready for school requires practicing more than just academic skills.  A huge factor in a child's success is how well he interacts with others.  When thinking about how your child will perform at school remember to think about more than the spelling tests and math grades...the "social skills tests" your child will face are important too.  Often kids are expected to know these skills without being taught them.  It is a good idea to take time and explicitly teach social skills, especially for the kids who need a little extra help.


Here are some social skills that are super important but that are often overlooked:
1. Greetings
2. Initiating a Conversation
3. Listening to Others
4. Taking Turns in a Conversation
5. Being Responsible for your Behavior
6. Problem-Solving Through Conflicts
7. Apologizing
8. Asking for Help
9. Ignoring Distractions
10. Staying on Topic in a Conversation

Parents and teachers can work together to determine if a child needs extra help learning to use social skills.  Many kids pick up social skills without needing to be taught outright, but it is important not to assume that all children will. Parents can model social skills during conversations at home, role-play scenarios that may be difficult at school, or look for opportunities for their children to practice needed social skills.  Teachers can reinforce skills during group activities, praise and reinforce children during the day, and be alert to refer children to a speech and language pathologist should additional support be required.

Resources:
Top 10 Social Skills Students Need to Succeed
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Social Skills and School

Summer is the best time of the year for speech and language therapy!  No school means your kid has more time to play, explore, and learn.  Don't view summer as a chance for your child to take a break from learning.  It is a time where you can jump-start his learning through real-life experiences.

I have some clients who will be entering pre-school and kindergarten next year.  So to help them prepare I have created a systematic approach to teaching the letters and sounds in our alphabet.  I spent hours researching in what order kids developmentally learn their letters, I collaborated with other pre-k teachers and SLPs to get additional input.  Then I sorted the letters into sets with different prominent salient features highlighted for each letter.  Each set varies by place, manner and voice so each letter will stand out on it's own.

I believe in the principle of learning through contrasts (we learn that "s" is different from "b" because it looks different when you say it, it sounds different because one is long and one is short, and one uses voicing and the other does not).

You want to introduce new sets at a rate that matches your child's pace, a good goal might be one set per week.  

Set 1: Mm, Tt, Oo
Set 2: Ss, Aa, Bb
Set 3: Ff, Cc, Ww
Set 4: Xx, Ll, Pp
Set 5: Rr, Hh, Ee
Set 6: Nn, Ii, Kk
Set 7: Uu, Gg, Dd
Set 8: Yy, Qq, Zz
Set 9: Jj, Vv

Pick 2-3 sounds to focus on each day starting with Set 1.  Model both capital and lowercase letters.

Teaching ideas:
hand actions for sounds
sign language or something similar, bounce the short sounds, wave long ones
 
target sound grab bag
fill a basket with things that begin with two sounds from one set, help sort objects by sound
 
draw in sand/rice/flour
in a sand box or just a shallow bowl filled with flour draw the letters with fingers, use good letter formation (ask your child’s pre-k teacher for how she is teaching formation)
 
draw on a chalkboard: wet, dry, try
write letter with a small wet sponge, dry with a small cloth, write with chalk (idea adapted from the Handwriting Without Tears approach)
 
start blending!
short CV or CVC words:  Mom, Tom, Sam, then phrases:  I am Sam, when blending cue your child to “keep his motor running”  the sounds should keep going not be choppy
 
play receptive language games:
print out cards for the letters in your set, turn over and play memory, mix the sounds up, have the child find the sound that you name, etc.
 
use laminated papers or dry erase boards:
write a mix of the target sounds for your set, have the child erase one specific sound

*be sure to teach your child that vowels have two sounds, focus on the short sound for each vowel but always mention that vowels have two sounds.

 "Horton Hears a Who" Speech and Language Therapy Ideas

​Using books as a jumping point for language activities is vital to good speech and language therapy.  Here are some ways to encourage kids to engage with literature.

Activities for young children:

1)  "read" the book (look at pictures, read some of your favorite rhyming parts, talk about emotions), I rarely read all of the words in long Dr. Seuss books with young kids, but that doesn't mean we don't interact with the pages and learn about the story.

2) have your child point out different animals or actions they see on the pages, then act them out together. 

For example:
Horton is an elephant:  Stomp around the room like a big elephant.  Touch your ears and listen really hard like you have big elephant ears.
Kangaroos:  Jump...what are we going to do?  Jump!  what are we doing?  Jumping!
Monkeys: wave their arms, Eagles: fly,  Whos:  bang on drums, toot trumpets, etc.

*This is a great way to practice action words and verb tenses and complete sentences.  Also anything that gets little kids moving AND reading books is a win-win!

3) use the idea of the Whos talking so quietly and then making music to be loud and arttact attention to work on describer words and comparatives.  Make/use some kidsinstruments and practice loud/soft, fast/slow

For example:
I had some shakers and a little xylophone set, we practiced playing along with picture cue cards, I cued for "we are playing loud!"  let's play softer...ok, now you want to play...Louder!  This also extended into drumming on the table and walking around the house (slowly, quickly, softly, loudly)

4) visit seussville.com for an awesome colorsheet of Horton

Activities for Older Children

1) read through the book together, point out the different emotions Horton feels (confused, surprised, overwhelmed, hopeless, worried, etc.).  There are tons of other great things you can point out as well, go with what your child seems interested in.

2) create Venn Diagrams for Horton vs. the Whos or Horton vs. Kangaroo (that is the map that has two big empty circles that overlap in the middle).  After the map is complete you can talk more about how the two are similar and how they are different.  Maybe follow-up with some what-if questions...what if Horton had ears like the kangaroo? etc.

3) visit seussville.com for activity sheets about helping others and doing good deeds (they have a nice writing activity where you write a note to Horton telling him about a good deed you have done).

4) visit seussville.com and check out the activity where your child thinks of animals in the Jungle of Nool (or any jungle) and then you ask questions trying to guess which one they are thinking of (ex. does it fly?  does it have a long trunk?  does it have fur?)

5) extend activity #4 into a simile and metaphor discussion:  what if I said someone was as "sour as a kangaroo?"  as "helpful as Horton", as brave as a lion, felt small as a Who...wolfed down their meal, a busy bee.

6) extend activity #5 into a Describe It game...I am thinking of an animal that sounds like...looks like...eats... practice guessing and giving clues to help build semantic connections.

There is SO MUCH you can do with this book.  These games have been a huge hit with my clients.  Give them a try! 
I love Dr. Seuss because his books are a great jumping point for so many different language goals.   Enjoy Dr. Seuss Day :)

Here is what I like to see in 3 year-olds.

These are some ideas for things to work on/look at when your child is approaching his third birthday. Don't get too hung up on any one item, try to look at your child's speech from a wide view when they are really little (birth to 3).  For very young kids how they are using the words they have (language) is more important than how they are saying the words they have (articulation).


Sounds:
Children should be able to copy the “m”, “b”, “y”, “n”, “w”, “d”, “p”, and “h”
Children might be able to copy the “t”, “ng”, “k”, “g”, “f”, “v”, “ch”, and “j”


Words:
Children should use be using correct vowels in their words
Children should be able to say the sounds listed above in the beginning and endings of words (if they are alone and not in a group of consonants).
Children might not be able to say all of the consonants that are in a group (like the st in stop)
Children might replace a hard sound like a “v” with an easier sound like a “b”
Children should be talking with 3 or 4+ words in a phrase, expressing ideas, commenting, and requesting help.


Intelligibility:
Strangers should be able to understand around 75% of what child says (gestures included)
Parents should be able to understand around 90% of what child says (gestures included)

SEEL: early literacy resource for SLPs, teachers, and parentsI have been spending a lot of time preparing speech and language sessions centered on reading and writing development.  The best part about combining speech and language with literacy...they are so dependent on one another!

In one activity focusing on phonemic awareness I can also target articulation goals (final consonant deletion, voicing errors, minimal pairs, etc.) as well as getting language goals (plural /s/, pronouns, 3rd person singular /s/, verb tenses) ANDtransfer the principles to comprehension strategies and prediction as I expose children to text!

And the best part...you don't even have to plan for that kind of carryover!  It will just happen as you use books and target early literacy skills.

Here is my new favorite website for teaching early literacy skills: http://education.byu.edu/seel/

The website is for the SEEL (Systematic and Engaging Early Literacy) program.  This website lists hundreds of activities for increasing literacy skills through phonemic awareness tasks like rhymes and alliteration.  Plus they add new activities frequently.

Best part:  It is totally free.  I am a huge fan of helping kids and not having to spend money for specialized programs.  Thank you BYU and thank you SEEL program.

My personal favorite page of the website is under the Lesson Plan Library: Scopes and Sequences tab.  Here you can find developmental sequences associated with early literacy.  The steps are broken down into very user friendly chunks.  Plus they have linked the steps with appropriate activities, you want to teach first developing letters?  Click on any of: M, B, T, S, O and X

*notice that the letters are not sequenced alphabetically, that is not the easiest way for kids to learn their letters!  I LOVE that they don't take the "letter of the week" approach.  (which is ok, don't freak out if that is what your pre-school is using, your kids will still learn...but evidence suggests there are better ways)

One word of advice though:  even when I have taken extra time to make sure I am hitting multiple goals with one activity I still try to focus my cueing and prompting on my top priority goals.  It is easy for kids to get overwhelmed if you slam them with too much.  So be sensitive to what you want the child to work on and for everything else offer as much support as the child needs to be successful.

Check the program out.  You will love it.

I have heard it said that "play is a child's work". I think defining play as work (any type of work) makes it sound less fun, less like play. Today I attended a training discussing play that gave it a much more appropriate definition. A better way to describe play is something that is spontaneous, volitional and "timeless".

Play is:  FUN!
The way that children explore their world
The best way for kids to create connections within their brains
Essential for a child's cognitive development

Play is NOT:
Looking at flash-cards
"Drilled" games
Adult directed

*These things can be fun and can be good ways to teach children specific skills BUT they are not what I consider play. Children need quiet time (no TV/radio/computer distractions) set aside each day for them to engage in free-play.

I want to encourage parents to play with their children. Let your child lead the activities, follow what your child seems interested in. Think of ways to expand your child's current knowledge of household objects. Have fun!

What if you get "stuck" in the same play routine or you struggle to think of new ways to play with the toys your children like?
​
One great way to overcome these challenges is to write down 10 different games or activities you could do with the tricky toy in advance. Then when you are in the "spontaneous play moment" you will have some ideas in mind so that you don't feel stuck.
For example: My child has a "blankie" that he is always carrying, after wrapping him in it a few times I ran out of ideas...so here is my list

1) Give pull-rides
2) Superhero cape
3) Tug of war
4) Parachute to bounce balls
6) Be ghosts
7) Dress-up (skirts, turbans, hair)
8) Use for a swing
9) Fort/tent
​10) Hot lava on red squares

Feel free to be crazy, think outside the box, whatever, just use your imagination.